Duh, Channing!

Sunday, July 21, 2013

34 Weeks

I've been terrible at updating. Probably because there isn't a whole lot to say, luckily. We've just been cruising. Today I'm 34 weeks. 34 weeks! Crazy. My big goal was 32 weeks. Now we wait until 38w 2d. That's when we've scheduled my repeat c-section. Really not looking forward to that, you guys. I'll deal though. Anything has got to be better than last time, right? I had to visit L&D this week to schedule my c-section. I had a mini-breakdown. I cried walking through those halls. So many sad memories of that place. Let's hope that in 4+ weeks we walk out of there with new, non-sucky memories.

If ya'll didn't know, the end of the 3T is no joke. Who does this a second time on purpose? Seriously. Michelle Duggar needs to be declared insane. She's done it. . .what? 17 times or something like that?! Two and through for sure!!

What's Chan up to? She's doing really well. Her talking is nuts now. She says the funniest stuff. We don't know where she comes up with half the stuff she says.
She's driving us crazy of course. She's two and half! Last night was her first night in her big girl bed. She did great. I swear I freak about every transition prior to and then Chan does great. We only have one last vestige of babyhood to say goodbye to. . .DIAPERS!!

Chan eating peanut butter toast.

Chan eating glue.

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Well hello there, 3T

We've never met before! It's official. I'm more pregnant than I have ever been. 26w6d. The emotions are plentiful. Relief, happiness, sadness all rolled into one (larger by the day) pregnant woman. I'm so so thankful to have made it this far but we've still got a ways to go. Then I'm sad that Chan didn't get the advantages that this baby will have. Chan went through so so much and hopefully this baby won't.
Frankly I'm just not good at being pregnant. My body (obviously) and my mind. The inherent vulnerability of pregnancy just isn't good for a person like me. Oh well. MG keeps reminding me that I've only got 2.5 more months to go. Which is really just a blip in the scheme of things.

Some other hi-lights:
I had my longest cervical measurement yet last week at 25weeks. I measured over 4. This is huge! I feel so much better about actually making it to the end.

The progesterone shots aren't easy, breezy. The first two were easy but after that they've pretty much sucked. Itchy, burny welts. Ugh. This kid better like me!

I don't go back for another cx measurement until next, next week. I also have my gestational diabetes test. I didn't get to do this with Chan. So that'll be a new one for me. And finally I'll get a Rhogam shot. I'm RH- so yet another thing to plan for.

Thanks for checking in on us!

Thursday, April 25, 2013

What's Chan up to?

Busy trying to look cool.

Digging in the dirt aka her favorite thing to do EVAH!

We took Channing to Sesame Street Live. She was basically mad the whole time because she couldn't go up on stage with them and dance.

Our own little pig-pen

P after P Update

I'm currently 21w4d pregnant. The time is really flying by. I've been feeling good. Weeks 6-15 were rough though! I was never sick with Chan so morning sickness was new for me. But midway through week 15 the nausea left as quickly as it came on.

We are having another girl! Yea for not having to buy new stuff! (Yes, MG is totally fine with another girl.) Anatomy scan went great and don't kid yourself I asked that tech to look at everything TWICE. I said 'we don't really like surprises'. One of the bad things about being a high risk/NICU mom is that you learn about all the things that can go wrong with a pregnancy. You learn about all the conditions/syndromes/defects. The human body is such a complicated thing. It's truly amazing that most of the time everything works out fine.

I've been going to the doctor every week now. Kind of a pain but I told them I would go there every day if it meant never stepping foot in the NICU again. I get a weekly progesterone shot and then every other week I get an ultrasound to measure my cervix. Right now, I'm sitting at 3.95. Anything between 3-5 is considered good. My Dr. feels really good about my progress so far. He told me yesterday that he thinks if I was going to have problems they would have started by now.

My anxiety level is okay right now. It usually inches up the farther out I get from my appt. then it goes back down after the appt. Just a vicious cycle.

I'm huge ya'll! Ok not really but my dear friend at work the other day looked at me and said "I think you are as big now as you were when you delivered Chan" and you know what SHE'S RIGHT!! I shall not commit the preemie mom cardinal sin of complaining about being pregnant but this is going to be a whole new experience for my body!

Chan has stopped screaming 'noooo' at us when we ask if she wants a sister. Now she points to my stomach and says 'baby out. see her'. We tell her the baby is too little right now but she'll see her in 4 months.

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Pregnant after Prematurity

Alternate post title: It's official, I'm insane.

I wanted to write this post to let people know how we mustered up the guts to try this again and what steps we took/are taking to prevent another premature birth.

First things first: The decision to try for a second child

Let's pretend Channing wasn't born 13+ weeks early. That she wasn't misdiagnosed with a brain defect. That she didn't have horrible feeding issues and severe reflux. Let's pretend her first year of life didn't suck in a million different ways. Instead let's say she was full term, happy, healthy. Even if she was, having a baby is hard. Having a newborn is really, really hard. Deciding to do that all again is a huge decision (at least for us and I think anyone else that enjoys sleep). We debated this for a good long time. So many factors went into it. Ultimately, we decided that we wanted to at least try and if it didn't happen for us we wouldn't be devastated because really Chan is pretty awesome and we are beyond thankful for her.

Then what: Research and more research

I have incompetent cervix (IC). After we made the decision that we wanted to try, I talked to my doctor a lot. I scoured the internet and my preemie internet boards for info. The good thing about IC is that in most cases it's 'fixable'. There are two different treatment options generally recommended for IC. Both have their pros and cons. The first being a TVC and the second being the TAC. I chose to have a TAC placed robotically prior to getting pregnant. This is the most aggressive IC treatment option. Usually, it's not recommended unless you have had two prior losses with a TVC. Can you imagine that? You have to lose two babies before they recommend the TAC! This was just ridiculous to me. I haven't had a loss but luckily my doctor (and my insurance company) realized that the TAC option was the best choice for me. One of the big pros of the TAC is that usually no bedrest is necessary. I have a full time job that I must keep and I have a toddler. Bed rest is doable but I wanted to try everything to avoid it. Plus, the peace of mind with the TAC is HUGE! I will also receive weekly progesterone shots to prevent pre-term labor. I'll be monitored weekly during the danger zone 16-32 weeks.

I said 'peace of mind'. . .yeah right!

This process is still incredibly nerve wracking. You don't know how many times I have asked my doctor "Are we really doing this? Are we crazy for even trying this again?". My doctor thinks that I will have a successful pregnancy. He actually thought I could have gone ahead with the less aggressive TVC and still had a positive outcome but he knew I needed the extra assurance of the TAC. I try not to worry. A wise friend once told me "worrying about tomorrow only steals the joy of today". So true. Honestly, I try not to think about it. We have done absolutely everything medically available to prevent a premature birth. Ultimately whatever happens will be and that's just life.

With that said, if you feel so inclined and that's your sort of thing, please say a prayer/send positive vibes into the universe/light a candle for Baby G #2 and me. We'll keep you updated!

p.s. I have no idea why my formatting is wonky.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Oh hey there!

I know, I know I've been terrible. Mainly because getting a decent picture of Channing is just not worth the fight.

Headed out for a walk around the block

Christmas Eve service spent in the nursery

Awesome bedhead and dry erase board. Her fave!

She can smile when she wants to.

Her first sucker as a ~~reward~~ bribe for being good during pictures.

This shot isn't blurry!

She loves this jacket and her (my former) electric toothbrush.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

It's been a while

Here are some pictures of Chan from this afternoon. The weather here has been ridiculous. I half-wrote a post about Chan's birthday and prematurity but I have yet to finish it. Until then some Channing. . .

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Fall

Monday, October 29, 2012

Pumpkin Patch 2012

Friday, October 12, 2012

Flashback Friday

The first bath I ever gave her! I was so nervous. I'd never bathed a baby let alone a teeny baby in a tiny pink tub. I still have that tub too!

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Weekend Fun

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

She talks!

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Saying goodbye

Last Thursday we said goodbye to SoonerStart. I knew it was coming. I had prepared myself. I knew in my head it was time but it was still hard to say the words "Yes, I want to discontinue services".

Katy has been coming to our house every two to three weeks since Channing came home from the NICU. I've leaned on her so much. I don't know about other preemie moms but when Chan was born so early and all that crap ensued, I lost any mother's intuition I might have had. I had none. I grew up babysitting. I worked in a childcare for years and with my own child I was clueless. So having someone coming into my home on a regular basis was amazing! I remember the day she told me "uhh Channing's shoes are way too small". Uh yeah Jac you should probably check your kid's feet once in a while. She was also a relatively new mom and a working mom so we shared and commiserated a bit too.

I was hoping that Katy could stay with us until Channing graduated high school but alas SoonerStart ends at 36 months. I learned a lot from her and it was so comforting and reassuring to have a professional tell you what's what with your child.

So while I'm super sad that we won't see our SoonerStart team any more I am thrilled that Channing no longer needs services!! I encourage any parent of a preemie or delayed child to check out SoonerStart!

PS. The guy in the photo is Katy's boss, John. We didn't see him as much but we like him a lot too!

Friday, August 24, 2012

Flashback Friday - NICU Clinic

This isn't my usual FF because there is no picture but this is an actual flashback. I aim for authenticity in my blogging!

When Channing left the NICU there was only one consensus: she didn't have holoprosencephaly. There was no consensus on her prognosis. Actually, there was no prognosis at all. So we left the NICU with hope but we were still scared and uncertain of her future. We were told she was doing well but it was still a 'wait and see' scenario.

About 3 months after Chan was discharged from the NICU she went to her first development clinic appointment. This is a unique program, mainly because it's free. It's run by one of two Developmental Pediatricians in our area (they are hard to get into). Basically, you meet with his team (an occupational therapist, a speech language pathologist, a nurse, a social worker) and then at the end he comes in and gives his overall thoughts on your child's development. This doctor saw Channing throughout her NICU stay. We had never actually met this Dr. in the NICU but we heard about him often. On our first visit, I was super nervous. I didn't know what to expect for the visit at all.

So I felt like the appointment went well. Channing performed most of the tasks asked of her. Then the Dr. came in and he was talking to us and observing her at the same time. Doing all these motions with his hands in front of her face. I was trying to listen to him, watch what he was doing and watch for her responses all at the same time. Then he told us something I never expected. He said "You know I followed your daughter's case closely while she was in the NICU. I knew you guys were coming in today and I was nervous about what I was going to have to tell you." I was really confused at this point and had a giant knot in my stomach. He went on to say "I don't make a habit of disagreeing with colleagues, especially not those outside my realm of expertise but my initial thoughts on your daughter have been confirmed. Your daughter is fine. I never thought anything was wrong with her. I never thought they should have done those scans and tests and never should have told you what they did before an MRI was completed." To say I was shocked is an understatement. I wanted to jump out of my chair and scream in his face. . ."WHHHHY? Whhhhy didn't you say anything? You could have saved us from so much torture and pain and worry!" But I didn't. Instead I just sat there speechless, stunned yet incredibly thankful.