Friday, August 24, 2012

Flashback Friday - NICU Clinic

This isn't my usual FF because there is no picture but this is an actual flashback. I aim for authenticity in my blogging!

When Channing left the NICU there was only one consensus: she didn't have holoprosencephaly. There was no consensus on her prognosis. Actually, there was no prognosis at all. So we left the NICU with hope but we were still scared and uncertain of her future. We were told she was doing well but it was still a 'wait and see' scenario.

About 3 months after Chan was discharged from the NICU she went to her first development clinic appointment. This is a unique program, mainly because it's free. It's run by one of two Developmental Pediatricians in our area (they are hard to get into). Basically, you meet with his team (an occupational therapist, a speech language pathologist, a nurse, a social worker) and then at the end he comes in and gives his overall thoughts on your child's development. This doctor saw Channing throughout her NICU stay. We had never actually met this Dr. in the NICU but we heard about him often. On our first visit, I was super nervous. I didn't know what to expect for the visit at all.

So I felt like the appointment went well. Channing performed most of the tasks asked of her. Then the Dr. came in and he was talking to us and observing her at the same time. Doing all these motions with his hands in front of her face. I was trying to listen to him, watch what he was doing and watch for her responses all at the same time. Then he told us something I never expected. He said "You know I followed your daughter's case closely while she was in the NICU. I knew you guys were coming in today and I was nervous about what I was going to have to tell you." I was really confused at this point and had a giant knot in my stomach. He went on to say "I don't make a habit of disagreeing with colleagues, especially not those outside my realm of expertise but my initial thoughts on your daughter have been confirmed. Your daughter is fine. I never thought anything was wrong with her. I never thought they should have done those scans and tests and never should have told you what they did before an MRI was completed." To say I was shocked is an understatement. I wanted to jump out of my chair and scream in his face. . ."WHHHHY? Whhhhy didn't you say anything? You could have saved us from so much torture and pain and worry!" But I didn't. Instead I just sat there speechless, stunned yet incredibly thankful.

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